Sunday, September 18, 2011

MALLI

Do you remember the rusting railing
We used to lean upon
As the western sky
Dissolved in burning gold
While the rest was spread out in darkness?
We leaned upon the railing,
That the cement seemed unable to hold,
Looking at cars,
Some with two headlights,
The others half blind,
Creating a game then and there
Of guessing which one was father’s.
The cars were just travelling funneled lights.
Were we waiting for him
Or for the sweets he brought?
Of course he would always say
He forgot to bring them
And then after taking his pleasure
From our quiet disappointments
He would reveal the surprise
And we would love him again.

I like to think you won those games.

I don’t remember the face I saw
Last year. Your straight hair
And sudden pouts are always
A surprise to me.
I cannot erase
Your laughing child’s eyes
And brown curly hair
That we used to make fun of.
Sometimes I regret
And wonder if I am the reason
For the loss of those curls,
The brown’s blackening,
The sudden denial to play.
I remember your funny monkey dance
That you mastered
Every time we sang in gibberish.
When you started growing up
Mother said the dance became vulgar.

Growing up has been painful for us.

I would like to meet again
The sad snowman we made together
From the little snow
That winter. He disappeared overnight.
Life was so short.
I don’t remember if it was you or I
Who shouted for me or you
When it started snowing.
As we looked up
Snow was the color of sky
And on our gloves
Snow and rain.
It was a disappointment really
But we have lied to ourselves
To have our house covered in snow.

That winter I realised that snowballs hurt.

I still remember the bright green
Of your frock
And its shiny smoothness.
Was it your favorite?
Because I saw it last night
Twirling and twirling
Against the haziness of memory
Worn by a little girl’s silhouette
That was yours once

Twirling and twirling against the haziness of memory.

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