Of Generosity.

At office. No one from my department has come except me. I do like the solitude that is the consequence of their absence and yet I feel this is all unfair. I feel I would like to be home or somewhere else. But then, I'm plagued by the thought of having nothing to do there. And yet, I do not feel I have done anything worthwhile today.

I am completely broke, 'am penniless. I don't even have money to buy lunch and to avoid any embarrassment, I tell my friends that I do not wish to order. Hunger gnaws at the insides of my stomach. S offered me his lunch this afternoon - rice, cooked in butter and carefully chosen spices. The smell of it wafted with such allurement that I could not refuse. And with gratitude I ate.

When he offered to share his lunch with me, I was suddenly overcome with embarrassment. S pitied me - of course, not with condescension but with genuine concern. Although one would have to brush off the almost nonchalant gesture with which he offered, to see that concern. Yes, I was embarrassed and I wanted to refuse like a once-sufficient man whose pride has been hurt by such goodwill and genuine compassion. And yet, a part of me was overwhelmed by this generosity and kindness. And I, at once, felt myself melt in the warmth of such an offering. And that part of me came forward and gladly accepted the offer to share the meal. My body overcame my mind.

Such small, unexpected happiness makes it all worthwhile - it makes life that much easier. These are things we don't remember at the end of our years but it is only these things that bring us to the end of our years. They move us and give us hope to go on further. They give us the strength to overcome great sadness and the courage to say, "It's alright".

But I must be careful - I must consider such moments of generosity and goodwill as sources of energy which refuel me and not make the mistake of seeking complete refuge in them. Else, I will only long for such moments in complete passivity and spend my life in waiting.