Do you remember
the rusting railing
We used to lean
upon
As the western sky
Dissolved in
burning gold
While the rest was
spread out in darkness?
We leaned upon
the railing,
That the cement seemed
unable to hold,
Looking at cars,
Some with two headlights,
The others half
blind,
Creating a game
then and there
Of guessing which one
was father’s.
The cars were just
travelling funneled lights.
Were we waiting
for him
Or for the sweets
he brought?
Of course he would
always say
He forgot to bring
them
And then after
taking his pleasure
From our quiet
disappointments
He would reveal
the surprise
And we would love
him again.
I like to think
you won those games.
I don’t remember
the face I saw
Last year. Your
straight hair
And sudden pouts
are always
A surprise to me.
I cannot erase
Your laughing
child’s eyes
And brown curly
hair
That we used to
make fun of.
Sometimes I regret
And wonder if I am
the reason
For the loss of
those curls,
The brown’s
blackening,
The sudden denial
to play.
I remember your funny
monkey dance
That you mastered
Every time we sang
in gibberish.
When you started
growing up
Mother said the
dance became vulgar.
Growing up has
been painful for us.
I would like to
meet again
The sad snowman we
made together
From the little
snow
That winter. He
disappeared overnight.
Life was so short.
I don’t remember
if it was you or I
Who shouted for me
or you
When it started snowing.
As we looked up
Snow was the color
of sky
And on our gloves
Snow and rain.
It was a
disappointment really
But we have lied to
ourselves
To have our house
covered in snow.
That winter I
realised that snowballs hurt.
I still remember
the bright green
Of your frock
And its shiny
smoothness.
Was it your
favorite?
Because I saw it
last night
Twirling and
twirling
Against the
haziness of memory
Worn by a little
girl’s silhouette
That was yours
once
Twirling and
twirling against the haziness of memory.